One Wrong Turn
by KaydenceRei
Summary: DISCONTINUED.
1. Should've Gone Right

**Disclaimer**: Not mine? Yeah. That sums it up.

**Author's Note**: Eh.. inspiration came calling. So I opened the door and told it to hurry up so I could go to bed.

**One Wrong Turn**:

If you make one wrong turn.. one wrong decision.. you could wind up with a world of ruin. I realized that today.. I made my wrong turn. It only took me choosing to go left over right, to wind up where I did. But.. if I had just gone that other way, would things be very different? How would you know?

I don't. I have no idea if it would have made a difference. I just know now, left was the wrong way.

&&&&&&&&&

_One hour earlier..._

Olivia was running down the alleyway. She was running out of places to go. She was weaponless, and he wasn't. She was out of defenses and running had become her only option. How much longer until she got away? Or until he caught up to her?

Damn..

Which way did she go? Left or right.. left or right.. which way? Instincts told her to go right.. but a light to the left side made her change her mind. If someone was there, she'd have help. Help was her best chance. She couldn't keep running forever. She was so tired.. she couldn't keep it up much longer at all.

Left.. she'd have to go left.

She ran to the left turn in the alley. That was a mistake. Sure.. there was a light. But it was a light to the back door of a locked building. It wasn't budging. She looked behind her, and found herself at a dead end. Maybe.. if he went the other way, she could run back out. But how could she know for sure? She couldn't, she supposed. But she'd have to try nonetheless. Olivia Benson wasn't going to quit this easily. She'd go on until the end.

She gave it her best shot. She ran, as fast as she could back the way she came. But she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him standing there. She was frozen, almost in shock. Going back would do nothing for her, she'd just have to put up her defense here.

But the gun changed everything. She put her hands out in front of her, and backed up slightly. "You don't have to do this.." she told him, trying to sound less afraid than she was. She'd have felt a lot better if she had something to defend herself with.

"Oh but Olivia darling.. I believe I do need to," he said with a smile.

Olivia held back a remark about being called darling. Being a smartass wasn't going to save her here. She had to be smarter than that. She was smarter than that. "White.. what do you want from me?" she asked him, make sure not to move so not to give the wrong hint.

He just smiled at her a little bigger. "I told you Olivia, didn't I?" he asked her. "I told you that day, to call me Richard. And I also told you, that you'd never forget about me. I'll always be in your head."

Olivia was silent. And as he stepped closer to her, she stepped back.

"I don't know where you think you're going," Richard said. "That's a dead end, you'll just back yourself against a wall and have nowhere else to run," he stated, pulling the safety down on the gun. He moved up to her quickly, grabbing her by the shirt and placing the gun against her temple.

Olivia stared at the gun first, then directly into Richard White's eyes. "You can go ahead and shoot me now, I'm not going to do anything with you," she told him. "You're never going to have your control over me, no matter how hard you try."

Richard grinned at her. "Oh but Olivia.. I already have control over you," he said, caressing her cheek with the hand he'd taken off of her shirt. "I can smell your fear, I can see it no matter how much you try to hide it from me."

"You'd think you'd understand me after all the time you spent thinking of me," Olivia replied with a smirk. The look of confusion.. the one look of surprise that caught him off guard gave her the only chance she had. She smashed her foot down, scraping his shin with the toe of her foot and slamming his foot with hers. The moment he moved from the pain, slightly hunched over, she kneed him in the gut and then punched him in the face.

Bingo. White was down, groaning in pain. And that was her chance. She grabbed the gun he had originally taken from her, and ran back the way she came from. Elliot was back there somewhere. She'd find him if it was the last thing she did. White had to have done something to him.

"Elliot!" she called out. Hoping she'd get some kind of response. She didn't know if she would. But it was a chance. He was close.. she knew he had to be. It wasn't long before she had been running because White had knocked out Elliot.

"Liv.."

She heard him. He was close by. She moved forward, on the defensive as she looked around and finally she saw him as she rounded another corner. He was attempting to get himself up, bleeding from the head. He probably had a concussion from what she could see. She moved to him, kneeling down beside him to help him get up. "Are you alright?"

Elliot shifted and nodded. "I think I'm good, what the hell happened?"

Olivia frowned. "El.. it's White.." she explained. "He's after me.. I barely got away from him," she told him. "I.." she had no more time to say anything else. She'd let her guard down. She'd been grabbed from behind, one hand over her mouth and the other forcing her to drop the gun. She'd screwed up again.. she'd given White a wide open chance to get her and he took it without a moment of hesitation.

Elliot was starting to get up when he saw White manage to grab the gun. He got up immediately at that point.

"No!!" Olivia screamed, the moment she saw White aiming for Elliot's chest. She attempted to push the gun in a different direction, but the bullet still managed to hit Elliot in the leg. "Elliot!! Oh god.." she muttered. She pulled away from White and went to Elliot, pulling off her jacket and starting to tie it around the wound. But White grabbed her again and pulled her away.

"You're mine Olivia," White whispered into her ear. "Don't you ever forget that.." he smiled as he threw her beside Elliot. He could hear other officers coming, he didn't have time to take her with him yet. But he'd get her soon. Now just wasn't the time. He aimed the gun at Olivia and smiled at the deer in the headlights look he saw cross over her face.

Olivia couldn't hide the look that crossed her face when she saw the gun. Her first thought was just to make sure that Elliot didn't get hurt once again, and she made sure she was in front of him. Now all she could do was stare into the barrel of the gun.

White didn't even hesitate to pull the trigger. He knew damn well he didn't aim well, he had to make sure that she lived. So instead he made sure that it simply grazed her arm. A few stitches and she'd be back to good. He smiled and ran off to the right. Unlike Olivia, he knew which direction to go to get away.

Olivia ignored the sting in her arm as she helped the pressure on Elliot's leg. He was passed out now, it wasn't hard to imagine why. There was so much blood because she hadn't been able to wrap her jacket around the wound as tight as she'd wanted to. She frowned and pulled it even tighter to try and stop the bleeding.

"Detectives?!"

Olivia looked up and saw a couple of people she recognized as officers she'd either talked to once or twice, or worked a case with on occasion. She waved them over. "He needs to get to the hospital, he's been shot in the leg," she told them quickly.

The first officer glance at Olivia's arm, it was bleeding too. "I think that goes the same for your arm Detective Benson," he stated lifting her arm to take a look as he heard his partner calling for an ambulance. "Where's the guy who did this?"

Olivia glanced in the direction that White had gone off in. He'd have been long gone by now if he knew what was best for him. "Gone I'm sure.. he went that way," she stated, nodding her head where she was looking. She heard the ambulance.

**&&&&&&&&&&&**

Olivia sat on the hospital bed in the room next door to Elliot's. He was still recovering, which meant he hadn't woken up yet. Apparently it had been good she'd managed to get that jacket around his leg, because it had been bleeding pretty badly, without it he might've lost a lot more blood and been a lot worse off.

She hadn't exactly spoken to anyone since she'd been in here. She was keeping to herself, trying to figure out how to explain to her captain that Richard White had come back for her. She didn't even know how to react to it herself right now. He'd tried to kill Elliot, and then almost taken her hostage with him.

"Olivia?"

Olivia glanced over at the doorway to the person who said her name. Munch. Why was he here? She'd expected the captain to come packing in. Maybe even Fin. But Munch usually kept away.. it was just like the last time that White had stalked her. Munch was right there to offer her a ride home. "Hey," she said, smiling a little at him.

John moved inside the room. "Care if I take a seat?" he asked her, glancing next to her on the bed. He assumed it was okay when she shrugged and made room for him next to her, so he sat down in the spot vacated for him. "Are you alright?"

She looked at him again, and was quiet for a moment before she responded. "I guess I am," she told him. "I guess.." she started.

John watched her face as she fought with the right words. "You guess what?" he asked her.

"I guess I just hadn't expected him to come back.." she admitted. "And it scared me when I saw him," she admitted again. "I just.. I don't even know what to think now.."

John was quiet. What was he supposed to say to her now? He wasn't her partner. Only Elliot really had a feel for what you said to Olivia to make her feel better, and he was in the next room over hooked up to an IV with a bullet hole in his thigh. "White's not going to get near you again, Liv," he told her. "You've got a lot of people here that are going to watch you back, and we're not going to let that asshole come close to you again."

Olivia smiled slightly at John but looked down nonetheless. It wasn't all that comforting knowing the only guy she really trusted to keep her safe, couldn't even walk at the moment.

"You're not alright, are you?" John asked, watching her face. Normally Olivia could hide it well, but for once he saw right through her. "You're scared shitless, I can see it," he said.

Olivia glanced away from him.

John shook his head. That was Olivia, never willing to admit that she was afraid of something or someone. And he knew for a fact, White scared her. He'd done it the moment she'd done an interrogation with him by herself. He told her was fixed on her, and she knew it was true. That's what scared Olivia.

"It's not like I can do anything," Olivia managed to say after a few minutes of silence passed. "I couldn't even stop him from shooting Elliot, I could barely protect myself from him," she told him, burying her head in her hands. "What the hell am I supposed to do if I can't even help my partner, can you tell me that Munch?"

John stared at her. This had to be the first time he'd seen Olivia say something like that. She was pretty soft spoken. But she was so tough on herself. He was beginning to realize, that in reality, Olivia's worst enemy probably wasn't Richard White. It was herself. She patronized herself more than anyone else he'd ever seen. "You saved him, Olivia," he told her. He moved to put his arm around her, but put it back at his side, too unsure of whether it was right or not.

It took a second. But that's when John realized it. Olivia was crying. She was that scared? He'd seen her scared before, but never like this. This time he did put his arm around Olivia. He was surprised that she even let him, let alone the fact that she actually seemed to take some comfort in it. He looked up at his captain in the doorway, but said nothing to Olivia that he was there. Then he watched as Cragen stepped back out.

Olivia felt ridiculous. Honestly, as much as she wanted to stop, and have John leave, she also wanted him to stay. Even if he didn't know it, he always found a way to make her feel better. Though, usually it was some kind of cynical joke or conspiracy theory he was spouting off, and not a hug or comforting words.

She knew though.. everything that went wrong today. It might've been avoided had she only gone to the right. But instead.. she made that one wrong turn, that made the rest of the day go wrong.

**&&&&&&&&&**

**That's right! I'm onto a chapter story. I worked myself into something that I liked. Hopefully you will all like it as well, I know I have seen Richard White in a story lately, not any new ones. So, if we can't get him back on the air, at least we got him back in the story! Give me a few days to update again.**

**Much love guys.**

**-Kay**


	2. Just Another Wrong Turn

**Author's Note**: So.. was this fast enough of an update? I hope so.

This goes to Color Esperanza, for being so helpful to me. Or.. well, technically just letting me yell random things to her and wind up with a plot by the end of it. Right. Shup up Kay. Write the chapter!

**Chapter Two**: Just Another Wrong Turn

Your birth, is a mistake that you will spend your whole life trying to correct. I've heard that before. Not just once or twice.. but many times. Sometimes, I think that maybe it's true. Maybe, just maybe, my whole life, I've been trying to correct the mistake of having been born.

But.. how can I learn from my mistakes, when the biggest mistake that I've made, is something that can't even be corrected?

&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia had long since stopped crying. Hell, it hadn't even lasted very long, and she made Munch promise not to tell anyone it had happened. She was still having a hard time believing that she had just gone to tears in his arms herself. So she got off her bed, wearing her t-shirt and sweatpants, and trotted out of her room and over to Elliot's. She glanced in, seeing that he was still fast asleep in the hospital bed, and she took a seat in the uncomfortable chair beside his bed.

It wasn't exactly her brightest idea. But she didn't want to leave him on his own just yet. She was free to leave. But at the moment, she just wanted to be by his side. After all, she was his partner.. if she'd done her job and protected him like she should have, none of this would have ever happened. She sighed. This was all of her fault.

She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head back, then opening them and staring up at the ceiling. Why did one wrong decision have to turn into all of this? She was just a natural screw up. That was becoming obvious to her.. but why didn't Elliot care? She was his partner. He needed someone who could actually benefit him as a partner. He wasn't getting that from her.. hell.. she wasn't even able to help her self.

"Liv?"

"Jesus!" she muttered, nearly jumping out of the chair when Elliot's hand touched hers. She definitely hadn't expected it, and she was still attempting to catch her breath a few moments later.

Elliot was a little shocked by her reaction. "Are you alright?" he asked, a simply look of worry in his eyes as he watched her calm herself. He hadn't seen her act like that in a while, and the only time she did, was when she was worried about something.

Olivia stared right back at him, frowning slightly. What was she supposed to say? She shook her head, and stood up. "I'm sorry El.. I gotta go."

Elliot grabbed hold of her hand, and when she turned to look at him, he saw the bandage around her arm. "He shot you?" he asked, staring at the thing cloth on her arm.

"I guess you could say that.." she answered, shrugging slightly and self-consciously taking her hand from Elliot's and placing it over the bandage. Her eyes wandered to Elliot's leg where it was laying in a cast.

Elliot followed her eyes. "You know, if you hadn't pushed the gun, Liv.." he started and saw how she glanced and looked directly into his eyes this time. "If you hadn't.. I'd be dead right now."

Olivia bit her lip, but said nothing as she turned and started walking out of the room.

"Liv.."

She stopped in the doorway at her name, but didn't turn around.

"Thanks.." Elliot said, staring right at her back. He couldn't even go after her to stop her, so when she looked back and smiled at him, not a happy one, just one of those ones that didn't really stay true to your face, he only wished he could make her understand that it hadn't been her fault. She'd saved his life.

&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia pulled up to the house in Queens. She turned the car off and glanced up at the home. It definitely wasn't anything she was ever going to have. It was something a single woman only dreamed of one day getting to have. To have a husband, and kids that she could watch play in the backyard.. But that wasn't Olivia. No.. not her.

She sighed. She should have just called. But somehow, now that she was already here, she felt the need to tell Kathy in person. She shook her head and got out of the car, going up to the door. She was about the knock, but the door was cracked open. She had her hand on her gun as she used her other hand to slowly push the door open enough for her to get in and look around. The first thing she saw was Kathy Stabler and Dickie Stabler tied up on the couch.

Honestly.. she should have known better than to go straight to them. But for some reason that didn't stop her. She went straight to Kathy and Dickie rather than checking the house. She pulled the blindfolds and gags off both of them.

"Oh god.." Kathy said, relieved that it was Olivia and not the man that had done this in the first place. "Olivia, what are you doing here?" she asked, confused but grateful to her ex-husbands partner.

Olivia was about to reply, but the look in both Dickie's and Kathy's eyes told her to turn around. And she did, but only in time for a hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes widened at who she saw though. It wasn't who she thought.. it wasn't Richard White. It was Ray Schenkel.

"Detective," Ray said with a grin. "This was unexpected.."

Olivia didn't give him much of a chance to say or do anything else. She drew back her arm, and punched him right in the gut, causing him to let go of her and move back a few feet as he tried to catch his breath.

Kathy could only stare as she saw Olivia nearly knock the guy over. Now she knew what Elliot saw in his partner. Olivia was fierce if she had to be, and sure, she was all woman, but she had strength like no other.

Olivia didn't wait for Ray Schenkel to get back on his feet. Instead she grabbed him by the head, pulled him down and sent her knee directly into his face, knocking him down to the ground, and it looked like he was down for the moment. She turned back to Kathy, seeing the stunned look on the woman's face and started at the rope around her hands.

Olivia fumbled with the rope, trying to get it to untie. "Damn this rope.." she muttered and reached down at her ankle to pull out her pocket knife.

"Olivia!" This time it was Dickie who yelled her name.

She didn't have time to react this time. All she felt was the hand grabbing a fist full of her hair, and the next thing she knew, she'd been pulled back to her feet and then thrown a few feet back onto the floor and further away from Kathy and Dickie. She groaned slightly, and sat up only to see Ray Schenkel coming at her again.

Kathy stared in shock. It was bad enough that Dickie had to see this, but there was nothing that either of them could do to help Olivia either. And the man hadn't even been after her, he'd been after herself and Dickie. Olivia had just gotten herself caught in the crossfire.

Olivia waited as Ray came closer to her, and as soon as he came close enough, she used both her feet and kicked him directly in the midsection, knocking him over and give her time to stand up. But he had gotten up just as quickly. She made an attempt to throw a punch this time, but since White had managed to graze her with that bullet, she didn't have as much of a pull as she normally did. Instead, Ray had grabbed her arm when it came at him, and she felt him twist it behind her back.

The next thing she felt, was getting shoved into the wall with Ray holding her up against it with his body. She struggled to move with his weight against her. How the hell was she stuck in this position? She couldn't even move with his weight holding her.

"Now now.." Ray whispered into her ear. "Detective Benson.." he said, loud enough for anyone to hear him. "I nearly forgot about you, you might be just what I need to put Stabler in his place.." he smiled as he used his free hand to move some of her hair from her neck, and moved his lips toward the now revealed skin.

Olivia wasn't letting him get that close. She managed to inch her other arm away, and as soon as she did, she elbowed my in the gut and then drew her fist back and punched him in the face.

Kathy was shocked. She had never seen Olivia in a fight before, and suddenly it occurred to her, Olivia was definitely someone who could watch someone's back to the full ability that any man could as a cop. In a sense, Olivia was perfect. She had strength, and beauty. Kathy envied her in a way.

Olivia took a deep breath, staring at Ray Schenkel lying on the floor. She gave him a slight nudge with the toe of her foot, but all he did was move with it. She let the breath out that she'd been holding and walked back over to Kathy and Dickie.

"Are you alright?" Kathy asked, watching as Olivia went back to trying to cut the ropes on her hands with the knife she'd picked up.

"Yeah," Olivia replied, her voice soft. She was still getting over the shock of it all. But she managed to finally cut the ropes off of Kathy's hands, and then she started to cut Dickie's.

Dickie grinned. "You were awesome, Olivia!" he said. "It was amazing, you took him out twice!"

Olivia smiled at Dickie as she cut the ropes off of his hands. She glanced over at Ray but he was still lying exactly as she'd left him. "Do you guys know who he is?" she asked them both as she took out her cell phone.

Kathy shook her head. "No.. he just said that he was getting back at Elliot for something.."

Olivia nodded and dialed on the cell phone.

"Captain Cragen, SVU."

"Captain," Olivia said.

Cragen could hear it in her voice. Something was wrong. "What is it Olivia?"

Olivia frowned. "Ray Schenkel," she told him. "I came to talk to Kathy, and he had them tied up, he's unconscious for now.." she explained. "But I don't know how long he'll stay that way."

"Alright," Cragen said. He shook his head. This was just one disaster after another. "I'm going to send some people over," he started to say, but what he heard over the phone wasn't good. There was a crash, that sounded like the phone had falled.

"Oh my god.."

"Olivia!"

"Leave her alone!"

"Olivia!!" this time Cragen himself yelled it out. But the call stopped. Just ended. And he looked up, holding the phone, his office door wide open as everyone was looking in at him. And so he dropped the phone, walking into the squad room.

"Send available units to 121 Melburn Dr. in Queens, and do it now. No hesitations, get the closest unit there, and I want them there five minutes ago. NOW," Cragen shouted.

John walked up to his captain as the other officers and detectives did as he had asked. "Captain.. is it White?" he asked him.

Cragen shook his head. "No.. it's Ray Schenkel.. and I think he's got Olivia now."

**&&&&&&&&&&**

**Surprise. Need I say more? Are you shocked? Is it good shocked? Bad shocked? Shocked that you have nothing to say? Oh well. Say something anyways! SAY SOMETHING! (Yes.. I admit I haven't slept in nearly 40 hours.. and I'm feeling the effects. Oops. Hahaha. Oh well!) Hope my insanity brought on a good chapter. Much love.**

**Remember. Ray Schenkel Episode: Demons. Elliot goes undercover to see if Ray Schenkel has gone back to his pedophiliac ways. (PS. I think I just made that word up..)**

**-Kay**


	3. Making Up For Wrong Turns

**Author's Note**: I hope it's as good as I tried to make it! D

**Chapter Three**: Making Up For Wrong Turns

When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. So maybe, I can't change the mistakes I made in the past. Maybe I can only stop myself from making the mistake again.

But.. if this mistake leads me to die here today. Would I have simply been a failure, rather than somebody who made a mistake or wrong turn?

&&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia groaned with her eyes only barely opening, and she could see Kathy and Dickie on the couch. They were once again tied up, not gagged like the last, but tied still. She came to her senses, and realized she was being carried over Ray Schenkel's shoulder towards the front door. Considering he barely had a grip on her, she considered it an open opportunity. After all, she'd heard once, never to interrupt your opponent while they make a mistake. But they never said not to take advantage of that mistake.

She waited, until he moved his hands to open the door, and that's when she made her move. It was the best chance she was going to get. She pushed forward, head first, and managed to flip over his shoulder and onto her feet. She had to admit, she'd only barely caught her balance onto her feet, but it was fun to do it. She turned, seeing the look of shock on Ray's face, and as he came towards her, she brought her elbow up and smashed his nose in.

Kathy looked on, in shock, along with Dickie. Neither of them had seen that coming. She hadn't expected Olivia to come to her senses so fast after the hit she had taken. Until tonight, she'd never had more respect for a single person.

Olivia leaned against the wall, keeping her eye on Ray as he laid on the ground holding his hands over his now bleeding nose. All she could do was try to catch her breath. She could barely see straight again, and she reached her hand to the back of her head where she'd been hit earlier. Wet.. how? She pulled her hand away, and dared a glance at it. Blood..

"Oh god.." Kathy muttered. She hadn't seen it before. Hadn't even known. She stood up, her hands still tied, and moved to Olivia. She took the knife and managed to once again cut herself free. Then she glanced at Dickie, who was still in shock, and then down at Ray Schenkel, who still hadn't gotten up. She did the one thing she'd been wanting to do, and kicked him, directly in the already bleeding nose, and knocked him right out.

Olivia watched, and only really started to worry when it looked as though there were two of Kathy. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them, hoping she'd readjust.

"Olivia.." Kathy said, walking back over to the other woman. She placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Olivia was silent for a second, catching her breath. Then she dared to look directly into Kathy's eyes, hearing the ambulance wailing in the background. Why only the ambulance and not the cops yet, she wondered. "I think.." she mumbled. "I think I'm alright.." she managed.

Kathy wasn't so sure. She was a nurse after all. She watched the look in Olivia's eyes. "How's your vision?" she questioned.

"I'm not going to argue on this.. I think I need a damned doctor.." she mumbled before her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and all she saw after that was darkness.

Kathy was shocked, and barely managed to grab hold of Olivia before she went down. The fact that Olivia had managed to hold her own in a fight after that blow to the head was shock enough for her. The fact that she hadn't gone down after she flipped over Ray's shoulder, was a whole different story.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia opened her eyes again, and found herself staring up into the eyes of two paramedics. The immediate thing she found herself doing was following the small light they had flashing in her eyes back and forth.

"Well, good news, your eye sight seems fine," the first guy said with a smile as he watching Olivia sit up. "How do you feel ma'am?"

Olivia glanced at him, and shrugged. "I'm fine," she stated, knowing full well she wasn't.

"We need to take you to the hospital, just to care for the gash on your head," the second paramedic, a woman, told her. "It's pretty large, you'll likely need stitches for it."

Olivia looked over at the woman now, with a strange look. The idea of going to the hospital, for a second time, was not on her to-do list. "I don't think so.." she stated. "You should take him, I'm perfectly fine," she explained to them as she stood up.

The two paramedics glanced at each other and shook their heads. They couldn't force her to go with them. So they moved to the man who was unconscious and already strapped onto a stretcher, and they brought him out to the ambulance.

Kathy got up off the couch and walked over to Olivia. "You know.. you really should have gone to get checked out," she told her, checking out the gash as well. "I know you're not alright, Olivia," she stated putting a cloth over the gash and letting Olivia hold onto it from there.

"I suppose not.." Olivia admitted. "But I hate hospitals," she stated with a shrug of her shoulders. "And I never got to talk to you about what I originally came here for."

Kathy tilted her head to the side, slightly confused. She'd forgotten that Olivia had been here to tell them something. She wouldn't have come if she hadn't needed to talk to them. "What did you need to talk about?" she asked.

Olivia frowned. "About Elliot.."

Kathy put her hands up. "Olivia.. he signed the papers, there's really nothing left to say about- -"

"He was shot.." Olivia mumbled out quickly. She needed to interrupt Kathy, otherwise she wasn't sure she would have been able to say it.

Dickie shot up off the couch. "What?!" he yelled, running over to Olivia. "Is my dad alright?" he asked quickly.

Kathy could only stare in shock at what Olivia had said.

"He got shot in the leg.. he's alright," Olivia managed out. She couldn't dare to look in either Dickie's or Kathy's eyes, and instead she merely stared down at her own feet.

Kathy put a hand on Olivia shoulder, then she glanced down at Dickie. "Dickie.. go upstairs.." she told him, and when she saw him start to object, she interrupted him before he could. "Go upstairs."

Dickie closed his mouth, and did as he was told.

"Olivia.." Kathy said, trying to get her to look up. "Olivia, for Christ's sake," she said again, and that time she got Olivia to look up at her. "He's a cop, he takes the chance that things like this could happen," she explained. "And I can see the look in your eyes, and I'm going to tell you right now, it's not your fault that he got hurt."

Olivia stared right back into Kathy's eyes. She knew it was true, that she shouldn't have blamed herself for it, but she did anyways. "You don't understand.. I was right there," she told her, sitting down on the couch with Kathy as she listened to the sirens flood in from down the road. "I tried to stop him.. push the gun, but I couldn't push it far enough away.."

Kathy stared, her mouth shut as she tried to come up with some kind of response. How could Olivia blame herself for that? How could she blame herself for not being able to save Elliot from getting shot? "Tell me Olivia.." she started. "Where was this guy going to shoot Elliot, that you managed to push it just to his leg?" she asked her.

"That's not the point.." Olivia mumbled, and was cut off from saying anything else.

"Tell me where," Kathy demanded once more.

Olivia glanced away. "The heart.."

Kathy's eyes softened. She'd known, that was likely to be where this person was originally trying to shoot Elliot. "You didn't cause him to get hurt, Olivia," she explained. "For God's sake, you saved his life, he would have died if it hadn't been for you."

Olivia shook her head. "You still don't know.." she managed to get out, putting her head in her hands. "Richard White.."

"That stalker? From when you and Elliot were first partnered?" Kathy asked suddenly at hearing the name. She remembered Elliot telling her about that guy. One of the rare times he talked about the job to her. Because he'd been worried at the guy's interest in his partner.

Olivia nodded. "You know about him?" she questioned.

Kathy nodded as well. "Elliot told me.."

"He's out of prison.." Olivia explained. "He was after me, not after Elliot," she told Kathy, putting her head back in her hands. "God.. if it weren't for me, Elliot wouldn't have even gotten into this mess.."

Kathy went to say something else, but a knock on her still opened front door caused her to stop and look up as John Munch, and Fin Tutuola walked in.

"Good to see you again, Kathy," John said with a slight smile. But the smile didn't quite reach his eyes when he saw Olivia sitting with her head in her hands. He nodded his head to Kathy and then Fin, and watched as Fin led Kathy away to ask her about what happened. And he took the vacated seat beside Olivia, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Olivia took a short breath before she lifted her head and looked at John.

"You know," John said with a smile. "You look like shit."

Olivia let out a short laugh, unable to help herself after hearing that. "God.. do I know it.." she admitted. "But thank you for making me more aware of it," she said with a smile.

John grinned. "Of course, I live to make you aware of your shitty appearance Liv," he told her. He finally saw the smile reach her eyes after that. "Now.. get in the damned car, because I'm taking you back to the hospital."

"John.." she started.

"No, no ifs ands or buts," John said to her. "I'm taking you, because I know you denied care from the paramedics, it's what you do best," he said. "So go, and get in the car."

Olivia stared at him, her mouth open in slight shock at the way John had just spoken to her. She'd never seen him use that tone of voice before, so it was shocking to her once he did. She simply nodded slightly and then stood up, going towards the door. "Hey Munch.." she said, turning at the door and glancing back at him.

John looked over at her.

"Thanks.."

&&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia was sitting in the car with John when she heard the call come in over the radio. An ambulance had been at a red light, when a man shot the driver, and drove away with Ray Schenkel in the back. She said nothing when she saw John dare a glance in her direction. Simply stared ahead at nothing as they headed towards the hospital.

John picked a parking spot, and headed into the emergency room with Olivia along side him. She hadn't spoken since they heard the call over the radio about Ray Schenkel, and he didn't blame her for it.

As soon as Olivia was being checked out, he made his way over to Elliot's hospital room to see how he was doing. Elliot hadn't been told yet about Ray Schenkel, and therefore, had no idea that Olivia was hurt again, or that his family was on their way to see him.

"Munch," Elliot said as he saw John walk in. "Why the long face, someone finally make you believe that aliens don't exist?"

John smirked. "Hah, hardly. No one would ever try to spurt that nonsense to me, I know they exist," he said with a grin, and getting one out of Elliot too. "I needed to tell you what's going on."

"With White?" Elliot asked.

John shook his head. "Something else happened, Elliot," he told him. "Ray Schenkel."

Elliot was silent for a moment. "What did he Schenkel do?"

"Olivia was going to your place in Queens to talk to Kathy," John explained, motioned to Elliot's leg. "Instead she found the door partially open, and Kathy and Dickie tied up on the couch," he told him.

Elliot's face was pure shock. "Are Kathy and Dickie alright?" he asked quickly.

John nodded. "Olivia got the brunt of it all it looks like, Kathy said Schenkel never hurt her or Dickie, but he did fight with Olivia multiple times apparently."

"Multiple?" Elliot asked. "Jesus, is she alright?"

John shrugged. "Truthfully.. I don't know what's wrong with her, emotionally at least," he told him. "Physically, she just needs some stitches, she got Schenkel pretty good though, Kathy tells a good story."

Elliot grinned. "How'd it go?"

"Apparently, from what Kathy says, Schenkel came at Olivia from behind when she was trying to untie them," John started. "She turned around, gave him a good punch to the gut, and then knee'd him in the face. Figured he was knocked out when he didn't move, so she went to help Kathy and Dickie again. He grabs her by the hair, throws her back a couple of feet onto the floor. He comes at her, she kicks him away, gets up, tries to throw a punch, and he catches her and shoves her into the wall."

Elliot could only stare as John explained what Kathy had explained to him. It had been a while since he'd seen Olivia get into a full-on hand to hand fight with somebody. "Jesus.."

"It's not near over," John said. "He said something about being able to use her to put you in your place, and that's when Olivia elbowed him and then punched him in the face and that time she did knock him out, checked on it." He shrugged. "She untied Kathy and Dickie, called the captain, but while she's talking to him, Schenkel takes something and whacks Olivia over the back of the head, and when he's carrying her out, she coming to, manages to flip off his damn shoulders, and when he comes at her again, she just smashes his nose in with her elbow and knocks him clear down. That's when she realizes she's bleeding. Kathy goes to check on her, decides to knock Schenkel out, and you'll like this part," John said.

Elliot raised an eyebrow up. "Go on."

"Kathy kicked Schenkel in the face."

Elliot stared openly now. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"And it felt damned good to do it too," Kathy said as she and Dickie walked into the room as well. She smiled at the look of amusement that dawned on Elliot's face. And she smiled bigger when she saw Dickie jump onto the bed with his father.

"Dad.. do you know how cool Olivia is?" Dickie said with a grin. "She kicked that guys ass from here to California!"

Elliot smiled and shook his head. His son might've been a teenager, but the kid was still madly in love with Olivia, just like when he was 8 years old. And it made him wonder, exactly how he was starting to feel about her too.

**&&&&&&&&&&**

**So.. I hope you guys weren't disappointed by this chapter. I know, I told you multiple times it would be up earlier. But I found something I didn't like, got a second opinion, and realize it was a bad idea to eat half a gallon of sherbert icecream, and then try to write a serious chapter because it comes out retarded.**

**In other news.. I'm getting married in about a month. Excited? I am.**

**-Kay**


	4. You're My Best Friend, I Love You

**Author's Note**: Sorry that this took me so dang long. I'm back to working again overnights, and my birthday was the 13th, so I'm 18 now! Cheers for being legal. I can finally go to jail. Yippy!

This chapter is for, SVUFan1006 , for giving me a great review and really giving me an urge to want to continue on! And for SouthrnBelle, for giving me amazing encouragement on my real life plans!

**Chapter Four**: You're My Best Friend, I Love You

Sometimes, when you think you're making a mistake and it's too late to turn back, you realize when it's all said and done, you actually did something right. I made one of those mistakes that did something good, that saved two lives.

For once these past few days, I feel good. But.. how long will that feeling last me should another mistake wind up occurring?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Olivia, was once again sitting on a hospital bed. She found herself, habitually, staring at the wall, at nothing. The only reason for that, was because she couldn't think if she watched the television, listened to the nurses and doctors, or if she acknowledged people were actually talking to her at times. And she needed to think. She needed to understand that she'd saved Dickie and Kathy. But.. why did she have such a bad feeling?

She sighed, and finally closed her eyes. She was tired, more tired then if she'd just worked a shift all day, and was three or four hours late going home. She was exhausted. But.. she supposed she could have just blamed that on the concussion that she'd gotten from the whack to the head she took from Ray Schenkel. She was still annoyed with herself over that. How could she not be upset with herself? Multiple times she'd just given the man an opening the beat the crap out of her. She'd deserved the concussion for that one.

"Detective.."

Olivia opened her eyes, moved them towards the door. There was her captain. She hadn't spoken to him since the phone call where Ray Schenkel had bashed her skull in. "Captain.." she said hesitantly.

Cragen raised an eyebrow up at her hesitation to say anything at all to him. He didn't quite understand the way that Olivia thought at times, or how she could be so hard on herself when she'd done perfectly fine. But he supposed, that was just the way that she was. It hit him, after a moment, but hit him nonetheless. "You think it's your fault that he managed to get a good hit in Olivia?"

"I.." Olivia started to talk, but the look in her Captain's eyes had her shutting her mouth and rethinking what she was about to say. "I should've been paying more attention.." she said to him, glancing away.

Craged frowned. Silently chastised her on the inside for being so hard on herself before he chastised her out loud. "Do you want me to tell you that Olivia?" he asked her, walking towards the hospital bet she was sitting in, and standing beside her. "Is that it, you want me to tell you that you did something wrong?"

Olivia bit back an oath, and looked up at him. "I.. suppose I just feel like I did do something wrong," she explained after a moment.

"You did everything you had to do, to make sure that your partner's son and that boy's mother wound up safe," Cragen told her, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. "You can want me to say you were wrong, all that you want," he told her. "But I won't. What I will tell you is that you did right by Kathy and Dickie, and you got them out safe and without them getting hurt."

Olivia stared at him, saying nothing.

Cragen shook his head. "Olivia.. do you ever look at yourself in the mirror when you've blamed yourself for what you did wrong?" he asked her. "Or do you just pass that bullshit around and let yourself believe that it's true?" he asked next.

Olivia, once again opened her mouth to speak, but in better interest of herself, shut it once more. She was shocked, she wouldn't deny that, by what had come out of her Captain's mouth. But she supposed, that he did have a point behind it. Maybe she was just trying to take the easy way out of things, by simply blaming herself for things that weren't her fault. Or.. she realized.. that she was just afraid that if she did look in the mirror.. she'd still think the same.

"Olivia," Cragen said softly this time. "You're one of the best detective's in New York, one of my best officers," he told her. "I'm not going to sit here and watch you tear yourself apart because some guy got one good hit in on you. You took him down, concussion and all, and I'll be damned if I'm not proud of the way that you handled yourself against Ray Schenkel."

Olivia watched the truth in his eyes, waited for them to flicker so she could see him as a liar. But they didn't flicker. They stayed true. And she, was flattered in any sense by the words. Given, she hadn't blushed in years, not since she was still green and in uniform, she supposed she probably came close to it at that moment. "Thank you.. Captain."

&&&&&&&&&&

It was only a little while later. Olivia was sitting on the bed contemplating the conversation she'd had with her Captain not too long ago. She knew that he was right. That things would have been worse if she hadn't shown up. But it didn't stop her from worrying about the fact she hadn't done all that she could have.

She glanced over at the door when she saw a movement, and saw Elliot wheeling himself inside on a wheelchair. Her lips twitched slightly when she noticed that the wheel got stuck on the door. She was doing her best not to show the amusement, but when she spoke, she knew it was obvious. "Need some help, Ace?" she asked him, and stood up and walking towards him to help him get through.

Elliot chuckled. "These things should come with a steering wheel.." he said jokingly, smiling at her when she moved him next to the bed and then sat down on it.

"That's why you turn the wheel in the direction you want to go," Olivia said with a roll of her eyes. She smiled at him and folded her legs indian style. "How are you feeling?" she asked him, taking a slight glance over at his leg.

Elliot watched her face, and the way her eyes only gave a slight second long glance over towards his leg. He knew what she though, and he knew that she was still blaming herself for it. "Pretty good," he replied. "How's your head?" he asked her.

Olivia blinked for a moment, reaching a hand to touch the back of her head and wincing slightly, forgetting that she'd taken a good hit there. "Uh.. it's alright.."

Elliot shook his head slightly. "None of this is your fault, Liv," he told her, not even bothering to weasel it in subtly. He stopped her before she could object. "I can see it in your eyes, and you're just blaming yourself for what happened to me, even after the last time when I told you it wasn't your fault."

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked him.

Elliot nodded. "You know you can."

Olivia sighed, but nodded as well. She put her head in her hands, and looked down at the floor after removing them and then ran one hand through her hair. It was down to her shoulders now, and still getting longer at this point. "Did you ever feel.." she started. "Like everything you had in life, just kept going wrong?"

Elliot was silent at first. It wasn't often he discussed his personal life with Olivia, sometimes he did, but not as much as he probably should have, considering. Now was one of those times, he was pretty sure that she needed him to say something. "When I was in the middle of my divorce," he admitted. "I felt like everything was going wrong, that I was doing everything wrong," he told her, a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"When did you stop thinking like that..?" she asked him, her voice quiet as she glanced up. Her whiskey colored eyes staring into his icy blue.

Elliot frowned. "Sometimes I still do, and it takes something special to make me realize that everything's not really going wrong for me," he explained, taking her hand in his.

Olivia glanced at their hands, but only quickly, before she looked back up at him. "What made you realize it?"

"You," Elliot said before he could stop it from coming from his mouth. He hadn't meant to say it out loud. And he saw, for the short moment, the way here eyes flooded, and then how it went away again. Her ability to hide her emotions so quickly, still amazed him even to this day. "You're always here for me, Liv," he explained to her. "Even when I try to push you away, you push right back, and you push me back onto the line," he admitted.

Olivia simply stared into his eyes, unable to come up with the words to explain how she felt about what he'd just said to her. She was silent another moment more before she managed. "You keep me on the line too.." she admitted quietly. "I don't think I'd have lasted around here so long if I hadn't gotten you as my partner."

This time Elliot found himself speechless for a moment. That was another skill that Olivia had. She'd surprise him and leave him speechless with just the little things that she said to him at times. It wasn't always something real big, sometimes it was just small things. Or, in this case, she surprised him because he hadn't expected her to say anything, or to deny helping him at all.

"It's just.." she started. But she stopped, catching herself before she said something else that she might've wound up regretting.

"Just what?" Elliot asked her. "Don't freeze up on me now, Liv.." he told her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm not judging you, I just want to know."

Olivia nodded slightly. "It's just that.. I'm not used to having to walk around, scared that somebody's going to come flying around a corner and try to do something to me," she explained. "Or wondering if I walk into the house of somebody else that I know, if I'm going to find them tied up on a couch.." she went on with more. "I've never had to sit and wonder about things like this before.. how the hell am I suppose to live in fear?" she questioned, looking down and closing her eyes.

Elliot frowned. He understood now, why she hadn't wanted to admit those things to him. If it were reversed, he probably wouldn't have wanted to admit it to her either. "There's nothing wrong with being afraid, Olivia," he explained once more. "I told you that already.. you have every right to be afraid of what White can do, because you _know_ what he can do already," he stated.

"I know.." she finally said with a sigh. "Thank you.." she said next, a small smile gracing her lips. "You're my best friend, Elliot," she said with a small shrug. "And I'll be damned, I do love you."

Both her and Elliot froze. She hadn't meant for it to leave her mouth, and almost immediately she pulled her hand from his, using it to cover her mouth as the red followed over her cheeks.

Elliot stared at her, shock all over his face. He'd been left speechless once again, and he'd be damned as well, he loved her too. But he wasn't sure he could admit it. He noticed that she couldn't seem to hide her embarrassment like she normally did within a second. It had been several minutes now, and her face was still beet red.

"I'm sorry.." she said quietly. "I didn't mean to say that.." she said quickly, then realized how that sounded. "I mean.. I meant to say it, but.. shit.."

A smile wormed it's way onto Elliot's lips, and he let out a small laugh at her reaction. He took her hand in his once again, "Don't worry, Liv," he said with amusement. "I'll be damned," he said, just to mock her. "But I do love you too."

A look of baffled embarrassment crossed Olivia's face as the color rose in her cheeks even more. The look only strengthened when she felt Elliot touch his lips to her cheek.

"If you don't mind.." said the nurse who came in, and cleared her throat. "I need to check the wound on the back of Detective Benson's head," she told them. "You can wait outside for now, Detective Stabler," she told him.

Elliot nodded, glanced at Olivia who had a look of bafflement still, and shock. Then sat back in the wheel chair and wheeled himself out.

Olivia watched him go, silent still. That.. gave her a feeling she'd never really felt before. And she didn't quite understand what it meant.

**&&&&&&&&&&**

**Again. I'm so so very sorry about the wait. I've been sick.. and working. And it's just been a really long month. For those paying attention about the marriage, which was all of you, it's post-poned til' after Chase gets back from basic training in the Coast Guard. Likely to be January or February now. But it'll still happen! Thank you all for the encouragement and everything!**

**-Kay**


End file.
